Transform Me
by Voldy's Worst Nightmare
Summary: Two teenagers are abducted by Sideswipe and taken to NEST, but can NEST transform two junior car thieves into respectable operatives? I don't think so. alternate summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

Transform Me

Disclaimer: I OWN THE PRIME!!!! MINE IS THE PRIME!!!! And yes, that does mean Optimus, because he is awesome. Anyway, a message to Maple; until you update Infinite White I will hold Sideswipe and KITT hostage. And if it isn't updated within 2 weeks I shall crush KITT and destroy his AI chip. Permanently.

**Summary: Maple Alycia Hood and her friend Nina Izzard are famous in their part of town, not for being decent, well-behaved girls (on their estate? Be serious!), but for several run-ins with the police, usually on account of a stolen car. What happens when the next car they steal is alive? Maple/Sideswipe friendship.**

…

"Hey! Maple!"

Maple whirled round to find nobody was behind her. She rolled her eyes as a pale, freckly blonde with blue eyes dropped from the tree above.

"Fooled ya this time," she grinned.

"Not funny," Maple chuckled, tucking a flyaway strand of brown hair behind her ear.

"It so was," Nina laughed before suddenly becoming deadly serious, "Some pillock parked a _totally_ sweet ride outside the flat. Chevy stingray concept, unlocked, no key though,"

"Hotwire job?" Maple's green eyes sparkled, "You've had your hair done," she accused

"Yes I have," Nina's usually one-length hair was feathered and the lowest layer was electric blue, "And no; hairgrip."

"Sweet," the two girls ran through the park to their respective modes of transport; Maple on her bicycle and Nina, typically, the skateboard she'd won off her brother in a game of poker.

When they arrived at Nina's block the Chevrolet (just as Nina had said) was parked directly in front of the flat, no alarm and totally unguarded.

"What happened to the cameras?" Maple asked; security cameras had been set up all around the neighbourhood to "Lower the crime rate in the area" but they had simply disappeared.

"Funny that," Nina grinned, "The old geezer up the road thought the authorities were after him for desertion, so he shot them all to smithereens with his old army rifle; they still haven't gotten round to purring new ones up,"

Maple sniggered, "Long live the old geezer up the road."

"Long live the old geezer!" Nina yelled triumphantly before the pair hid their transport in Nina's house and descended on the car.

"Hairgrip's your field, Maple," Nina grinned, getting into the driver's seat.

"How come you get to drive?" Maple pouted.

"Because I'm the one with the license," Nina replied, grinning.

"I'm the one who can start the car," Maple countered, getting into the passenger seat.

"Who says I need starting?" the car suddenly flared into life, fastened seatbelts round the girls and sped off down the road.

"Shit!" Nina yelled, slamming down the break with her foot.

"Stop the car!" Maple yelled

"I'm trying!" Nina replied, "The flipping breaks don't work!"

The car swerved and sped towards a different part of town.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Nina yelled, trying to turn the car around, to no avail.

"Where's it going?" Maple asked.

"Either it's going somewhere I don't know about or, and this is the more likely option, it's kidnapping us."

"The airport?" Maple asked, incredulous, "but that's military,"

"You two," the car explained, "are being detained by NEST,"

"What the hell is nest?" Maple asked; at the same time, Nina uttered "Sweet holy mother of God!"

"Why don't you explain then, Nina Izzard?" the car chuckled.

"Nina?" Maple asked.

"NEST," Nina began, "Is a top secret organisation that deals with alien life forms,"

"Aliens," Maple snorted.

"More specifically," Nina continued, "robot aliens that turn into cars. Stupid!" she cursed herself, "Why the hell didn't I realise?"

"Realise what?" Maple asked.

"One of them," Nina explained, "Is a Silver Chevrolet Corvette Stingray Concept." She swallowed, "Maple, might I have the honour of introducing Sideswipe, of the autobots?"

…

Tada! *Throws confetti* Haha! I've done chapter one! How does Nina know about NEST? Find out next time! XD

**And please review if you like it, otherwise I will have to send Megatron after you all, which would be very unfair.**

**REVIEW DAMMIT!!!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – NESTs and Gallows

**Disclaimer: see previous chapter.**

**I would hold this story hostage but I'm not like that and I wanted to update :P**

**So here it is!**

…

"Hey there," Sideswipe chuckled.

Maple turned to Nina; "How do you know about NEST?"

"You know I don't see my dad much anymore?"

"You said he was in the army," Maple nodded.

"Sort of," Nina grimaced, "My dad is part of NEST – or he would be if that asshole in pinstripes wasn't trying to get him shot by firing squad,"

"And you couldn't tell me because…?" Maple was hurt that one of the closest people to her had been keeping something this big.

"If I didn't they'd lock up my dad," Nina replied, "He wasn't supposed to tell us anything but I sort of hacked his computer when I was 9,"

"You're kidding?" Sideswipe asked, "but that's top secret NEST stuff! They've got the best anti-hacking system on the planet, I should know – Optimus sorted it out!"

"Yeah well Optimus clearly didn't bank on a nine-year-old who's mum used to work in quantum physics," Nina replied, "She used to leave me in the technology department because she thought it was safe – until the incident on my ninth birthday when I hacked into the site's mainframe and rewrote one of the most complicated bits of software – increased their efficiency by 25%" she shrugged, "but the local authorities thought it'd be a bad idea to let me anywhere near computers so they put me with this guy who stole cars for a living,"

"Carson Hathaway?" Sideswipe asked, "What happened to him?"

"Shot in the head by his wife because he cheated on her with the next-door neighbour," Nina replied, "she killed him as well,"

"Him?" Maple asked, "What do you mean?"

"Carson, for all his initiative and creative car-thieving genius," Nina grinned, "Was sleeping with Mr Jackson when the wife weren't looking," she added as an afterthought; "strange that she got off with another woman in prison,"

"Oh the irony," Maple and Sideswipe commented simultaneously as Sideswipe drove into the airport and onto a plane. As soon as they parked the seatbelts disengaged and Maple and Nina were hauled out of the car by men in uniform. Maple was dazed enough as it was without the added shock of being watched by several other vehicles (the largest of which was a truck painted in USA colours).

Nina, on the other hand, wasn't having any of it.

"Abduction!" she yelled, "Violation of the declaration of human rights! I want to see a lawyer! GET THE HELL OFF ME!" she swung one shoulder forward and sent two of the men flying over her shoulder as several others rushed forward to subdue her. Before they reached her they were interrupted by two voices.

"Stand off!" a man with major stripes ordered the soldiers.

"Nina!" another voice yelled, "Stop!"

"Dad!" Nina broke through the ranks of soldiers and flung her arms round her father, who hugged her back.

"It's been a while,"

"3 years," Nina replied, "Not even a video link!"

"I e-mailed you when I could, didn't I?"

"Hardly ever!" Nina snorted.

"You're lucky Galloway's not here," the major chuckled, "Your dad's meant to have no contact with his family,"

Nina said something very unladylike.

"Nina!" her father scolded, "Manners! This is Major Lennox, Major, my daughter and –" he looked over at Maple, "This must be your accomplice; Maple, isn't it?"

"She's my friend, dad," Nina replied, "and she can pick any lock and start any engine whether she has the keys or not. She's a genius."

"She'd have to be if you're friends with her, hackmeister," Captain Izzard chuckled, "Nice to meet you at last, Maple Hood,"

"You too, sir" Maple replied as Nina turned to Major Lennox.

"Care to explain why we've been abducted?" she and Maple asked simultaneously.

"Not abducted," Lennox replied, "Rescued from the authorities,"

"Ah, the old anarchy excuse," Nina grinned, "I remember it well."

"We contacted your parents and got their permission –"

"And used Chevy here as bait?" Maple finished, "Why?"

"Because we needed something flashy that you two would find irresistible," Lennox replied.

"You people," Nina rolled her eyes, "you always think you're smarter than everyone else."

"That's because they have us,"

By the time Nina and Maple had registered that the lorry had been talking, it had started to transform.

"Shit!" Nina yelled as a red-and-blue autobot appeared sat where the lorry had once been.

"Nina," her father warned.

"Sorry dad,"

"This," Lennox began, "Is –"

"Optimus Prime," Nina cut in, "last of the Primes if you don't count the fallen."

"Even if you do count the fallen," Sideswipe replied, "Prime defeated him about a year ago,"

"Really? Cool," Nina grinned, "but Megadouche is still at large?"

"I'm guessing he's the evil one?" Maple asked.

"Uh… one of them, yes," Nina replied, "and probably the most annoying of them."

"Sounds fun," Maple grinned, "When do we start?"

"As soon as we land." Lennox replied.

For the next two hours Maple and Nina contented themselves with stealing a computer of the hood of a black four-wheel-drive and hacking into the NEST system before reading everyone's files (presumably to find something to blackmail Galloway with).

Nina was just putting the laptop away when the plane juddered and she overbalanced with an indignant "Eep!"

"Have we finally taken off?" Maple asked.

"Nope," Lennox replied, "We've just landed."

"No way," Nina scrambled to her feet as the back of the plane opened and the troupes marched out "How the hell did you do that? Teleport?"

"No," Lennox answered, "Fast plane and a good pilot,"

Everyone exited the plane and Captain Izzard took the two girls straight to the autobot hanger.

"So dad," Nina asked casually, "What's Galloway's next ingenious plan to get you killed?"

"Probably you, Nina" her father replied, "I wouldn't be surprised,"

"You're acting under orders though," Maple commented, "He can't get you shot for that, can he?"

"He shouldn't be able to," Nina replied, "But this order sort of countermands Galloway's one – the one that says he isn't allowed any familial contact – and Galloway's been looking to get Lennox fired as well,"

"Why?" Maple asked; the car, which had been introduced to them as Ironhide, chuckled.

"Because Lennox told him how to use a parachute when on a mission," Ironhide began, "They'd set of the alarm that usually means you have to do a parachute jump and when Major Lennox told Galloway that after jumping he needed to pull the chute –"

"Galloway, in his infinite wisdom," Nina's dad chuckled, "pulled the chute while on the plane and was subsequently sucked out by it."

"Fail!" Maple and Nina giggled, "Epic fail!"

"And apparently it's all the Major's fault," Ironhide continued, also chuckling as he pulled into the hanger with the other autobots.

The three passengers disembarked and headed for the kit room.

"What do you think you're doing?" a voice asked behind them; they turned to find a man in a pinstriped suit glaring at them disapprovingly.

"None of your business," Maple replied, "And you're out of uniform, you could be court martialled for that."

"Thrown in the glass house," Nina added, "cold showers, little food and damp towels."

"What's the glass house?" Maple asked with interest.

"Army prison," Nina replied, "Uncle tam's told me some really nasty horror stories about it,"

"He would know," Maple grinned.

"Of course he would," Nina replied, "He's my uncle,"

"Major Lennox asked me to take the new recruits to get kitted up," Nina's father explained to the pinstriped man.

"Countermanding my orders?" the man asked.

"Yeah," Nina replied, "because he's a major and you're just a civvy with really bad fashion sense"

Maple snorted.

"What's your name, rank and number?" pinstripes asked

"One; none of your business. Two; weren't you listening to Captain Izzard just now? Three: how the hell should I know? I only just got here," came Nina's impertinent reply.

"Fail," Maple added, high-fiving her friend.

"I could have you arrested for impertinence," pinstripes snarled.

"No you couldn't," Nina replied, immediately deciding to do an impression of the airmen from the Armstrong and Miller show, "Because you is rubbish and your mum goes chippy in her slippers,"

"Nina," Captain Izzard warned, "Mind your manners; this is Mr Galloway of the CIA"

"CIA?" Maple asked, "He's a _mister_ and he works for the _CIA_ but he's trying to exert authority over NEST?"

"Now that's a fail if I've ever seen one," Nina added.

"Seriously," Maple went on, "You work for a different organisation, you have no rank whatsoever and you think you can just lord it over all of us?"

"Pulling rank over people when you have no rank to speak of?" Nina asked, "Epic. Fail."

"I was given clearance by the President of the US," Galloway replied.

"Clearance to _be here_," Nina replied, "Not to lord it over everyone. Did I mention that we read your file? We know all about the melon incident."

Galloway paled and walked quickly away.

"The melon incident?" Maple asked, "What's that?"

"No idea," Nina replied; "I just made it up."

Captain Izzard laughed and led the pair to the kit room.

…

After the pair had been kitted up and treated to a grand tour of the base (lead by none other than Optimus Prime) they were taken back to the hanger to be briefed by Lennox.

"Here's the situation," Lennox began, "Megatron has been trying to get into our computer system for several weeks,"

"You want us to eradicate him like a virus?" Nina asked, "No problem."

"Not quite," Lennox replied, "Starscream's been at it as well – what's so funny?" he asked as Nina and Maple started giggling.

"You don't want to know," Maple grinned, "as in, you really don't want to know,"

"No, I really do,"

"You wish you hadn't asked," Nina warned.

"Just tell me why you're laughing," Lennox replied.

So Maple launched into a very detailed explanation of a conversation she and Nina had had on the plane about Megatron and Starscream being porn stars on cybertron.

"Told you you didn't want to know," Nina grinned at the horrified-looking major.

"I'm telling your father," Lennox replied.

"Dammit!" Nina sulked, "You evil, evil person!"

"Your own fault,"

"I warned you but did you listen? Hell did you!" Nina responded, "your fault."

The mock-argument continued for a couple more minutes before Lennox returned to briefing the two recruits.

"We need to find out what they're after," Lennox explained, "and we need to stop them getting it."

Nina snorted again.

"What?" Maple asked.

"Considering our previous conversation," Nina answered, "Major Lennox keeps making a lot of innuendo comments,"

Maple thought about it for a moment and then burst out laughing.

Major Lennox rolled his eyes and waited for them to finish before continuing his briefing. After several interruptions Nina and Maple were finally told that their mission was to try and get to new transformers before the decepticons did.

"Stealing cars?" Nina grinned, "our speciality,"

"Seriously, you two," Lennox warned, "Decepticons are dangerous, you'll need to be pretty quick if you want to identify them and get out safely"

"Well Maple's good at reading people," Nina grinned, "And I'm a pretty fast driver,"

"With the rozzers in our area," Maple grinned, "you have to be,"

"Rozzers?" Lennox asked.

"Cops," Nina explained, used to explaining Maple's usual jargon; "Maple moved to London from Sheffield."

This bit of information meant nothing to Lennox, but he decided not to comment.

"Major!" Captain Izzard looked up from his laptop in the corner, "We've got company; two new transformers a few miles from here,"

You couldn't see Nina and Maple for dust.

…

"Come on Sideswipe," Nina grinned, hopping into the driver's seat as Maple clambered into the passenger's side, "Lets see what you can do,"

"I'm driving," Sideswipe said.

"No, Sides," Maple grinned, "Nina's driving because not even you can pull off her mental stunts."

"Wanna bet?" Sides challenged.

Nina floored the acceleration pedal and shot out of the hanger as sides strapped both of them in. A few minutes later the car jumped.

"What was that?" Maple asked.

"Speed bump?" Nina suggested.

"There aren't any in the base," Sideswipe commented.

Nina looked in the mirror, "Sweet!" she whooped, "we ran over Galloway!"

Maple and Sideswipe laughed and the new team sped out of the gate.

"You need to head east," Sideswipe commented, "That's where the newbies are."

"Roger that," Nina replied, twisting the steering wheel sharply and heading east.

"How the hell does she do that?" Sideswipe asked.

"Nina's basically a living compass," Maple replied, "she always knows where north is,"

"Which means I know where the other compass points are," Nina added, "logically."

"Southeast for three miles," Sideswipe relayed the new data to Nina, who jerked the wheel sharply in response.

A few minutes later they pulled up in front of a crater.

"Jay-zus" Nina muttered, "do you always do that when you land on earth?"

"We come from outer space," Sideswipe replied, "of course we do"

"Fine," Nina looked at the crater, "Douche-bags or our people?"

They clambered out and peeked over the edge of the crater to find a pair of robots fighting each other.

"One of each?" Maple suggested, shrugging.

"Only one way to find out," Nina's eyes glinted with mischief as she picked up a good-sized rock and threw it at the red one.

"Hey!" Nina yelled, "Metal mouth!"

The two robots turned to glare at her.

"Hey there," Maple commented, "Who are you guys?"

"I am Sunstreaker," the gold robot replied, "And this is Mirage,"

"Mirage welcomes the human females," Mirage (the red robot) said.

"You speak in third person?" Nina asked.

"Yes he does," Sunstreaker replied, "I was trying to get him to talk properly,"

"Well clubbing him round the head isn't going to help," Nina grinned, "Autobots or Decepticons?"

"Autobots," Sunstreaker replied instantly.

"Mirage is an autobot," Mirage concurred.

"Sunny!"

A flying silver robot tackled Sunstreaker – Nina noted absently that the car was missing – and a friendly tussle ensued.

"Hey Sides!" Maple yelled, "Get a room!"

"Ew!" Nina shuddered, "Incest much?"

"They're brothers?" Maple asked.

"You should've remembered that," Nina laughed, "You read Sideswipe's file,"

The two brothers stopped mock fighting and the three autobots clambered out of the pit before taking their car forms.

"You're a race car?" Nina blinked at Mirage, "Sweet!"

"Race you back to base then," Sides grinned as Maple got into the driver's seat.

"If anything happens to Maple," Nina warned Sideswipe, "I will hold you personally responsible. Twice."

"Roger that," Sideswipe mimicked Nina before speeding off with a gold Lamborghini in tow.

"Come on then, Mirage," Nina grinned, hopping in and putting on the seatbelt, "Lets see how fast you can run"

She floored the pedal and sped after Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.

…

Tada!!!!! And yes, Mirage does exist and he is an autobot. I checked on wikipedia and everything *grins*.

Anyway, now Maple has to do two chapters of Infinite White within the next 2 weeks, which makes me happy

On a slightly more irritable note; 3 people have alerted this story without reviewing. 3. I understand that alerting the story means you like it but does it really hurt that much to review? I get e-mails saying who has alerted/favourited the story, so don't think I won't find out. And I did say that of you like it then you should review or I'll – what did I say I'd do again?

Optimus Prime: send Megatron after them.

Voldy's Worst Nightmare: Yes, thank you Optimus. So please, please, _please_ review, because you wouldn't like it if someone alerted your story without giving feedback would you?

Anyway. Rant over; sorry for ranting and being annoying, have a nice time reviewing! First reviewer for this chapter gets cookies and an autobot! But not Optimus, Sideswipe or Jolt because they're spoken for by Me, Maple and Paula respectively.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Megatron's double life

**Disclaimer: yay! Reviews!**

**And another update! Aren't you spoiled! XD**

**Read and Review please!**

…

"So, Mirage," Nina grinned, "How fast can you go?"

"As fast as you like," Mirage replied.

"You aren't speaking in third person?"

"Nah," Mirage chuckled, "I only do that to annoy Sunstreaker – he hates it,"

"I like you," Nina laughed, "You have a sense of humour,"

"Thank you," Mirage chuckled.

There was a sudden crash and Mirage flipped over several times.

"Ow! Shit! Ow!" Nina muttered, "Mirage, you okay?"

"Nothing damaged," Mirage replied, "You?"

"Well I don't think anything's broken," Nina replied, "Ow! What the –" she exclaimed as the car flipped over again.

"You might want to get out," Mirage warned.

Nina nodded and somehow managed to haul herself out of the car before it transformed.

"Oi!" she yelled at the big black scary-looking robot she guessed was a Decepticon, "Do you mind? We're in the middle of a race!"

"You are foolish, human female," the robot sneered, "I am Megatron."

Nina looked at him, "Oh, right," she said, "the porn star,"

"What?" both transformers looked alarmed.

"You and Starscream, right?" Nina grinned, "You should seriously wear a mask if you don't want anyone to recognise you,"

"STARSCREAM!" Megatron transformed and left, evidently to hunt down whoever was responsible for the rumours, not knowing that one of the perpetrators had been right in front of him.

"Well that was easy," Nina grinned, "Come on, let's move."

Mirage transformed and the pair sped back to base.

…

"Where the hell have you been?" Lennox demanded as a battered Mirage rolled into the hanger.

"Run in with the Porno pair," Nina grinned, hopping out, "Yo Ratchet!" she yelled, "Newbie in need of urgent medical attention!"

Ratchet grumbled and took Mirage off to be fixed.

"Both of them?" Maple asked, tackling Nina, "and you didn't invite me?"

"He gate crashed," Nina shrugged, "And no; just Tron, but he drove off to yell at Screamer, so it might be true."

"Aw boy," Maple grinned, "nobody's ever going to take Megatron seriously every again,"

"Let's hope not," Nina grinned, "They'll kill him off and that'll do us a favour,"

"You fought Megatron?" Optimus Prime asked, full of concern.

"No," Nina replied, "He flipped us over twice and then I told him all about his porn-star double life," she giggled, "you should've seen his face, it was epic."

"I'm not even going to ask," Lennox grinned.

"Maybe we should scare Galloway with it?" Maple suggested.

Nina grinned and turned to Lennox, "Told you she was a genius" she turned back to Maple, "Come on, let's find him," they ran off to search for Galloway and Lennox was shocked to find himself feeling an emotion he had never before directed at Galloway; pity.

…

Galloway was hiding.

For the hast half-hour, whenever he had tried to chastise the new recruits for doing something wrong, all they wanted to do was tell him all about Megatron and Starscream's porn star lives.

He could never look at a pot plant in the same way ever again.

_Why me?_ He thought to himself.

_Because you're annoying and a snob_ came the answer. He turned to find both girls stood there grinning insanely.

"Found you," was all they said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Galloway ran away and found the nearest non-transformer vehicle, requisitioned it and fled to the nearest airport.

"Score one to us," Nina grinned, "Lennox owes us twenty bucks,"

"Hell yeah!" Maple grinned; the pair ran off top find Lennox.

…

"He won't be coming back," Nina was saying.

"Which means they'll send someone even worse," Sideswipe replied, "Well done, Nina,"

"We'll deal with them," Nina replied, "I was thinking maybe we could make a CGI video?"

"EW!" everyone shuddered

"Well, not us, obviously," Nina said, "Maple, you remember Will?"

"Do I?" Maple snorted, "Will who was always trying to find out our bra sizes? That Will?"

"Yeah, that one," Nina grinned, "He's really good at CGI, they look real. Why don't we send him a few pictures of Megatron and Starscream?"

"You have his e-mail?"

"No," Nina grinned, "He added me on facebook."

"Awesome," Maple giggled, "Let's see what he can do."

…

"You want me to _what_?" Will asked, shocked.

Nina and Maple had gone missing a month ago, and now Nina was calling him with the most insane proposition ever.

"C'mon, Will," he could tell Nina was grinning down the phone, "just this once, it's to scare the next person who tries to pull rank over here."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Will asked

He heard a couple of other voices in the background, one of them sounded like their boss, "Major" something.

"Will," Nina said, "I can't tell you what's going on because it's all official secrets and stuff."

"Nina," Will countered, "You, me and Maple have been friends since you were seven and Maple was ten. You can tell me anything."

"Not this," Nina replied, "If I do I'll get arrested."

"Again," Will chuckled, "As if the last eight times weren't enough,"

The discussion soon became an argument at the other end, which was silenced by Nina telling the people involved to shut up; she was trying to take a phone call.

"Lennox still thinks it's a bad idea," Nina explained, "but Maple disagrees, as usual,"

"She would," Will replied, "She's from Sheffield,"

"What's that got to do with the price of hats?" Nina asked.

"You've been watching Alice in wonderland again." It wasn't a question.

"Of course I have," Nina grinned, "I'm still trying to work out how to steal the hatter's hat."

"You're insane,"

"But that's why you love us so much," Nina was grinning again.

"Fine. You win,"

"Huh?"

"I'll make the flipping video, but you need to tell me how it goes with the new moron,"

"Will, you're a saint," Nina laughed, "A dirty-minded saint, but a saint all the same."

"And I still want to know what's going on."

"Well do you want to be abducted and taken to Diego Garcia?"

"I might consider it," Will replied; "Porkers are crawling all over the place; it won't be long before they find that tech project we were working on before you disappeared,"

"I'll see what I can do," Nina replied, "Thank you so much, by the way,"

"No problem," Will replied, chuckling, "See you around"

"Hopefully," Nina replied, "and hide the project,"

"Will do

They hung up and Will chuckled to himself; Nina and Maple had definitely gone insane.

…

"He'll do it, but –"

"Yes!" Maple grinned, "Wait – there's a but?"

"Yeah," Nina turned to Lennox and asked, somewhat sheepishly; "Can Will join NEST too?"

"No,"

"What?" Maple complained, "Will's a certified genius! He can fix cars, he's in danger from the Rozzers and he hacked into MI6 – 3 times – without getting caught! He's perfect!"

"Unless you count the lamppost incident last winter," Nina commented.

"You dared him to do it," Maple commented.

"You egged him on as well."

"True," Maple grinned, "But it was worth it just because his tongue got stuck"

"He stuck his tongue to a frozen lamppost?" Lennox asked.

"Well it was either that or moon a passing porker," Nina replied, "so he chose to lick a lamppost"

"Which is safer because you can't get arrested for that," Maple chipped in, "Although the Rozzers can try,"

"They tried to arrest me for sneezing once," Nina commented.

"Yeah, well you were taking the Mick before you sneezed,"

"True,"

"It's out of the question," Lennox said again, "I can't bring another person in without parental consent,"

"Will's 21," Nina replied, "He doesn't need parental consent, and he's still got our tech project – I don't want the porkers getting it."

"What tech project?" Maple asked.

"Why not?" Lennox questioned.

"Because they'll ruin it and it'll go on a murderous rampage," Nina replied, "We haven't quite finished adding in the protocols yet. And never you mind, Maple,"

Maple pouted but said nothing more about it.

"We can bring the tech project," Lennox decided, "But not this friend of yours,"

"Will none of the due respect, Major," Nina informed him through gritted teeth, "If we're going to finish the project, I need Will. Without Will there wouldn't _be_ a project, and he's the only one who knows the passwords to set the protocols – and he's not likely to tell me over the phone or anything."

"We can't risk going back to get another recruit." Lennox insisted.

"But you can risk going back for a tech project that you don't know much about," Maple countered, siding with Nina as usual.

"Major," Optimus commented, "The girls have a point, and this Will seems like an ideal recruit. We can always make room for one more,"

"Fine," Lennox gave in now that everyone was ganging up on him; "We'll surprise him."

Nina and Maple whooped and high-fived each other before running off to find Sideswipe.

…

"Will Thomas?"

"Who's asking?" Will asked, eyeing the 30-something-year-old suspiciously.

"Major Lennox," the man replied, "your two friends put me up to this."

"You're those people who abducted Nina and Maple?" Will asked, "Are they okay?"

"They're fine," Lennox replied, "they've settled in really well and they want you to join as well."

"Why am I not surprised," Will chuckled, "Gimme a sec, I'll just sort the calibration and I'll be right with you – Jarvis!" he yelled into the flat, "We're moving out!"

"Right you are, sir," a clipped southern accent replied.

"Who's Jarvis?"

"My computer" Will explained; "Nina found a southern speech pattern and said I should make an AI – I took her up on it."

"Calibration completed, sir," Jarvis said.

"Authorisation X-20-Alpha-7," Will replied.

"Of course sir," Jarvis shut down and a CD popped out of the laptop.

"Won't be a minute," Will said.

Five minutes later the "tech project" (which turned out to be two cars, but Will wouldn't explain anything) was loaded into the back of a brightly coloured American truck and Will was mercilessly interrogating Lennox about NEST

"So what's the deal?" he asked, "You abduct Maple and Nina, you apparently wanted to abduct our tech project and you need me for that – is that the only reason I'm being signed up?"

The truck chuckled (fortunately, Nina had warned Will about the robots that could turn into cars, so he wasn't really surprised).

"Nina said you'd ask questions," it commented, "although she failed to specify quite how many."

"Probably because she's gotten used to the questioning," Will replied, grinning, "So? What's the deal with the NEST thing?"

For the several hours the flight to Diego Garcia took, Lennox and Optimus Prime were answering the very detailed and, in some cases, slightly uncomfortable questions of NEST's newest recruit.

…

"WILL!"

Will was tackled by his friends, Nina grinned and hauled him back up again when Maple had finished complaining that he and Nina still owed her a seventeenth birthday present.

"It's been 8 weeks!" she grumbled, "You're never this late!"

"Will is," Nina replied, "If it weren't for me it'd still be in pieces all over his garage."

Will laughed and pushed his D&G glasses further up his nose before trying to wrestle his white-blond hair into a vaguely normal hairstyle.

"Come on," Maple grinned as she and Nina grabbed him by both arms, "You need to meet the 'bots,"

Will didn't bother to protest as the two maniacs half-dragged him to the autobot hanger.

…

After a grand tour of the NEST base, being told that his job was to "baby-sit" the nineteen-year-old Nina and seventeen-year-old Maple ("fat chance of that happening," he muttered, "They'll steal my glasses" naturally they did, just to prove him right) and having a guitar-hero tournament against Sergeant Epps, Will was finally given uniform and allowed to relax and catch up with the girls.

"So…" Maple grinned, "Did you manage to make the video?"

"Jarvis decided not to save the codes for it onto his file," Will replied, "So I've lost it, I'm afraid."

"Stupid Jarvis," Maple sulked, "Why did you have to give him a conscious?"

"AI's are supposed to have consciousness, Maple," Nina grinned, "It's what makes them artificially _intelligent._"

"Speaking of AI's," Will jumped up, "Nina and I need to add the finishing touches to your present."

"Right," Nina and Maple followed Will to the hanger where the tech project was being stored.

"We need to add the security protocols," Will was saying, "And the anti-hack systems."

"My field," Nina grinned as they sat at their computers and started tapping rapidly at several keys.

"And send," Nina grinned as she and Will simultaneously hit the enter keys; there were a couple of flashes under the tarpaulins covering Maple's present and Nina's "baby" before Will pushed another button and the tarpaulins were removed.

"Happy birthday, Maple!" Nina and Will sang as Maple stared, dumbstruck, as the black Ford Shelby GT500KR before her.

The car's lights flashed and an intelligent male voice issued from the speakers.

"Greetings, Miss Hood," the car said, "I am KITT and – according to your friends – your birthday present."

Maple squealed excitedly and tackled Nina and Will before jumping into the driver's seat of her new car.

"You might want the keys, Maple," Nina chuckled, handing the grinning seventeen-year-old a set of keys that had been sat on her table for the past month.

Maple grinned, turned on the engine and floored the pedal, whooping as she sped off out the gate of NEST HQ.

"Was that a good idea?" Will asked.

"She'll do it anyway," Nina replied, "Besides; KITT's designed to keep her safe."

"What about Megatron?"

"Aw, don't worry about him," Nina grinned, "remember we added the same weapons and defences that KITT from the TV-show has; they'll be fine."

Will looked uncertainly at the closing gate before turning to the second car; a BMW Z4.

"Wake up, NAIA," Nina grinned, patting the bonnet, "Test drive time."

The lights of the BMW flickered on.

"Finally," a young-sounding voice sighed, "I was starting to wonder if you'd forgotten about me,"

"Coming Will?" Nina asked as she climbed into the driver's seat.

"Sure, why not?" Will shrugged, hopping into the passenger seat and fastening his seatbelt.

"Right then," Nina grinned, "Let's see if we can't catch up with KITT,"

…

**TADA!!!!!!! Being un-banned from the computer is AWESOME!!!!!**

**Anyhow, I enjoyed writing it, I hope you liked reading it, but you'll have to REVIEW to tell me!**

**So go ahead and**_** click the green button…**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Test Drives and Decepticons

**Disclaimer: I own Optimus Prime, Sideswipe belongs to Maple and Jolt belongs to Paula. Ask the RRA XD**

**I officially love you guys; you gave me reviews! Thank you so much! And sorry for the long wait but I'm on study leave now so I'll (hopefully) have more time to update!**

**Anyway… here be the update! XD**

…

"Hey! Maple!" Nina yelled into the comm, "Where are you?"

There was a crackle and then nothing.

"Maple?" Will asked, "It's Will; are you receiving me?"

"Well obviously she isn't," Nina replied, "Because you're here and she's somewhere else,"

"You know what I mean," Will rolled his eyes at Nina.

"Seriously, though, Maple," Nina continued into the comm, "If you're there you need to tell us, like now, otherwise I'm going to kill you when we get back and find you're sat there drinking a coffee or something."

"Your friend is not able to talk to you," sneered a voice that Nina recognised all too well.

"Megatron," she stated calmly, "either you let Maple and her car go, or I call Optimus and Iron hide and Sideswipe and tell them to bring my car dismemberment kit so I can rip you to pieces."

"At risk of letting your dear friend die?" Megatron laughed, "I think not,"

It took Will a few minutes to realise that the strange, guttural snarl was coming from Nina.

"Let. Her. Go." She growled.

"I don't think I will," Megatron replied evenly, "In fact, I might just keep her, and you, as my little pets,"

Nina proceeded to utter several phrases into the comm that Will couldn't understand for the life of him but still made his ears burn.

"What?" Megatron had stopped acting so confident, "Where did you –?"

"I've been spending a lot of time with the twins," Nina replied, "And I've picked up a few rather interesting insults from them."

"I will tear you limb from limb!" Megatron roared.

"That's what she said," came Nina's response.

"What is the meaning of this?" the Decepticon demanded.

"You're mum," Will replied helpfully.

"Ooh, great minds," Nina added, "I was just going to say that,"

"I think I've been hanging out with you for too long," Will joked with a grin.

Megatron snarled something in Cybertronian, presumably at Nina, who responded with a snort.

"Is that the best you've got?" she asked indignantly, "I pit my wits against a decepticon and all he can think of to say is that I'm a puny mortal. Well, Megatron, how's your double life going?"

Someone on the other end burst out laughing.

"I'll deal with you later," Megatron snarled at his hostage before breaking the communication between himself and Nina.

"NAIA, get me Optimus. Now."

"Nina, what's up?" it was Lennox.

"We've got a problem," Nina replied, "An evil-robot-shaped problem, with a deep voice, an evil laugh and a hostage."

"Who's the hostage?"

"Maple."

"Dammit," Lennox cursed, "I'll send the autobots over; we've got a lock on your signal, if anything happens we should be able to trace you."

"That's helpful," Nina replied, "Because the aforementioned problem has decided to pay us a visit."

"Holy Shit!" Will yelled, "What the hell is that thing?"

"Megatool," Nina replied.

"Megatool?" Will was utterly confused.

Nina grinned, "It's his porn-star name, didn't you know?" she asked innocently before jumping out of the car.

Will couldn't help but snort at this flippant remark as he followed suit.

"I AM NOT A PORN STAR!" Megatron roared before picking up Nina and preparing to rip her in half.

"Let her go, Megatool," Sideswipe appeared from nowhere, blades flashing, and snatched Nina from Megatron's grasp.

"MY NAME IS MEGATRON!" Megatron screamed as the other autobots appeared and proceeded to kick the Decepticon to the sun and back. Literally.

"Where's Maple?" Sideswipe demanded as he and Sunstreaker pinned Megatron down and prepared to remove his head.

"You will never see her again," Megatron sneered, not noticing Nina plug a laptop into the back of his head. He juddered, retched and then tried to destroy the offending laptop with his mind.

"Got it," Nina grinned triumphantly, disconnecting the laptop, "Nice job, Rewind,"

The little autobot re-transformed into a small robot and clutched his head.

"Ow," he grumbled, "that really, _really_ hurt,"

"Sorry," Nina apologised, looking at the USB wire dejectedly, "He broke my iPod cable and all." She pouted.

"Where is she?" Optimus asked.

"You will never find her," Megatron sneered, "She is in a place that only a select few can locate."

"Right," Nina nodded, getting up; "NAIA, meet Rewind. You two are gonna be working together closely for a while. Rewind, tell NAIA what you found. NAIA, you'll need to contact KITT to tell him the information, and then KITT can supply you with the biometric trace code we implanted into him so he can find Maple." She turned to the autobots, "Lets do this,"

…

**DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!**

**What will happen to Maple? Is she safe? Will Nina and her insane car be able to find Maple in time? And, more importantly, what will Starscream do when he discovers the true extent of the damage done to his master by Nina? Find out next time!**

**Nyaha, YES! My evil plan is coming to fruition! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Be sure to review with your opinions and, if you want to, you can answer the questions too! XD**

**Click the green button down there or I send Megatron after you 0:)**


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